Miss April Day's
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If you wanna be sizzlin' hot
Show the world just what you got
And you're willing to be taught
I'll show you the way

If you're looking for good clean fun
I'll demonstrate how it's done
A quick brazillian
You're ready to play

If you give it all you got
I will guarantee
Your time on the job will be spent
In the VIP

Don't need a boa, this ain't burlesque
You don't need rhythm or massive breasts
Just a desire to get undressed
Sign up today

If you want the real floor show
Let your self-consciousness go
See the lady in the know
Miss April Day

I'll show you the way
Offer not valid
In the U.S. of A.

My favourite names
(sung to My Favourite Things)

Peaches and Pepper and Honey and Brandy
Champagne and Cinnimon, Sherry and Candy
Any food at all that ends in Y
These are the cliches that strippers go by

London and Paris, Montana, Dakota
Even nutritious supplements like Lakota
Places like Heaven that may not exist
These are the names that strippers can't resist

Fast cars like Lexus, Jaguar, Mercedes
Soft pretty flowers like Jasmin and Daisy
Expensive gems like Ruby and Diamond
These are the names to which stripper respond

If you can eat it, if you can drive it
If it's something you wear
Then chances are it is already being used
By a striptease artist out there.

Lace, Satin, Leather, Velvet and Ebony
Even old pop stars like Jewel and Journey
Weather like Lighting and Misty and Storm
These are the names strippers use to perform

Anna, Savannah, but never Banana
Cookie and Kitty but I've never heard Vulva
Cross-gendered monikers like Kelly and Chris
Drug induced states like Ecstasy and Bliss

Kid's things like Bambi and Barbie and Bubbles
Hobbies like Magic and boardgames like Trouble
China and Crystal and things you can break
These are the names that strippers often take

If it's cutesy or exotic or, to be frank, lame
Put an a, i, or que on the end
And you've got a stripper name!